Battlstar Galactica (TNS) Fanfic: "Lee Adama is a Cylon" Contest Entry

Disclaimer: Battlestar Galactica (The New Series) characters, names and scenarios are © 2003-05 Universal Television Studios. No infringement is intended or desired. This is a work of fan-fiction and is intended solely to promote fandom of Battlestar Galactica.

Title: Unmade Plans
Author: SonOfJoxer / misterhook / J.A.Hoekstra
Summary: The Cylons have a Plan...and it's going badly... Length Category: Short Story Age Apropos Rating: T (some harsh language)
Posting Date: 11/16/05
Word Count: approx. 3206

Main Character(s): Aaron Doral (No.1), Simon Sims (No.3), Leoben Conoy (No.5), D'anna Biers (No.2), Lee Adama (No.7)
Shipper Category (if any): It's supposed to be a surprise!
Spoiler Warnings: Fanfic assumes readers are caught up to Season 2, Episode 2.10: "Pegasus"


Narrative Context: This BSG fanfic takes place shortly after Season 2 Episode 2-08 "Final Cut," and assumes that you are familiar with the six humanoid Cylon models which have been revealed on the show up to that point. This fanfic is presented in a truncated screenplay format (only because "indents" are a pain to do in HTML :-) The humanoid Cylons' formal names appear next to their model numbers for the sake of clarity, though in this fanfic the same numbered models may go by different names.



*Humanoid Cylon models enter the dimly lit auditorium and mingle a bit before they find their plush seats. There are no "mechanical" Cylon models in sight. The various humanoid models do not sit in groups of their own kind, each row is filled with a variety of models to the extent that it's rare to see identical models seated next to each other. Only eleven of the twelve Cylon model variants are present at this particular gathering. The twelfth Cylon model (technically Model No.7), Lee Adama, is conspicuously absent from the crowd. An AARON DORAL model (No.1) enters auditorium stage left and approaches the lectern near stage center, he is wearing a brown casual business suit. He presses a button on the lectern which rings a series of soft chimes meant to still the polite chatter of the gathered crowd.*

No.1 - AARON DORAL: Good evening. Thank you all for coming on such short notice. Recent events aboard Battlestar Galactica have added an increased sense of urgency to tonight's discussion. We will hold a question and answer period after the main presentation, so please hold your questions until afterwards. As most of you have been informed, although some of you have not have been, the most important piece of information recovered form D'anna Biers' most recent broadcast is that Model No.7 is still alive and well aboard Galactica!

*This elicits gasps and mumbled surprise from the gathered audience, as well as a brief smattering of applause, even though most of them have already been briefed on the matter. A No.6 (SHELLY GODFREY) and a No.4 model (SHARON VALERII) seated the front row exchange smiles and knowing looks.*

No.1 - AARON DORAL (cont.): Here is a short clip from Ms. Biers' broadcast...

*A large viewing screen lights up behind Doral and he steps aside from the lectern to offer his fellow Cylons a better view. It's a clip from when D'ANNA BIERS (No.2) barges in on LEE ADAMA (as Capt. Apollo) and KARA THRACE in the flight senior officers' quarters aboard Galactica (a.k.a. Lee's infamous "towel" scene): *

LEE ADAMA (on screen): Constanza, get the hell outta here. It's the last time you come in a senior officers quarters, go, move. (to D'anna) So, you must be the reporter we were expecting.

D'ANNA BIERS (on screen): Well, you didn't have to dress for me. D'anna Biers, Fleet News Service.

LEE ADAMA (on screen): Captain Lee Adama, Commander of the Air Group. That's pronounced, CAG. And I suggest you find yourselves an exit as soon as possible. And that's pronounced, A-SAP.

D'ANNA BIERS (on screen): Think we've seen all we need to see here. (screen fades)

*As the clip plays, the Valerii and Godfrey models sitting in the front row are grinning like impish little school girls and whispering to one another.*

No. 6 - SHELLY GODFREY: Sure, I'd frak him!

No. 4 - SHARON VALERII: No way! I might be willing to give Lt. Agathon a chance in the pants though...

*Applause erupts as soon as the clip is done playing, drowning out the girls' conversation. Doral clears his throat as he steps back up to the podium, the audience grows silent. Shelly pokes Sharon in the ribs playfully. A D'anna model seated in the row behind them gives them both a stern look.*

No.1 - AARON DORAL: As you can see, Lee Adama has somehow cleared his good name after his mutinous actions just prior to the Basestar Incident. No doubt his close kinship with his father somehow stayed his execution. As Ms. Biers' broadcast makes clear, had Lee's father not survived the assassination attempt, Lee might not have been so fortunate in his current accommodations aboard Galactica. Remember that this culture is known for spacing mutineers.

As to the Basestar incident itself, I would simply reiterate that allowing Basestar 440 to be destroyed was a necessary risk. If we had jumped the Basestar from Kobol into the middle of the "rag-tag fleet," they simply would have fled, as they always do. I would also point out that our decision to upgrade Lt. Valerii's memory template was completely successful, though the assassination attempt ultimately was not.

*Some of the Valerii models in the crowd shift in their seats uncomfortably. Doral raises his hands as if to calm the crowd.*

No.1 - AARON DORAL (cont.): The only reason I mention Model No.4's successful memory upgrade is that it is precisely this sort of operation that we have NOT been able replicate with Model No.7! As to why this is the case, I now hand the lectern over to Dr. Simon Sims, currently heading the Adama research facility here on Caprica. Dr. Sims...

*A No.3 Model, SIMON SIMS, takes the stage, he is wearing a white lab coat.*

No.3 - SIMON SIMS: Thank you, No.1. Now, if you'll all return your attention to the screen...

*Lee Adama appears (as himself) on screen. He is confined in a straight jacket. He is shouting at the top of his lungs, almost incoherently, as two Simon models try to pin him to the padded floor of his cell.*

No.7 - LEE ADAMA (on screen): Hey! Let go of me! I'll kill you! You genocidal sons of bitches! Let go! I'll kill you all! Every last one of you! Then there will only be eleven Cylon models left! Waddaya you think of that? Huh, tough guy? Ow! Hey!

No.3 - SIMON SIMS: (on screen): We've been over this! Several times now. You are Model No.7! You are not human! You never were. You never will be.

No.7 - LEE ADAMA (on screen): Oh yeah? Well, frak you! You are the worst liar I've ever met! Didn't they teach you how to lie in Cylon school! Hey! I AM NOT A CYLON! FRAK OFF!

*Lee becomes even more violent as he struggles against the grip of the Simon models and starts yelling incoherently again. The screen fades.*

No.3 - SIMON SIMS: As you can see, the Model No.7's who were caught in the wake of the Soul Transfer shortly after Lee's little "fake nuke" stunt aboard Colonial One still persist in their delusion that they are not Cylons. When faced with the reality of their existence, whether through DNA sampling tests, or simply by sitting them down in a room full of other Model No.7 copies, they become violent, agitated, and very aggressive. One of them even killed a guard at the compound just last week.

Fortunately, the Resurrection Ship canceled Lee's Soul Transfer signal as just soon as the presumed "dead" Adama regained consciousness aboard Colonial One on Atonement Day. So far the aftershocks have been localized to the No.7 models here on Caprica. They have to be isolated, but prolonged periods of solitary confinement can drive them to be suicidal. Most of them believe that they are human prisoners being interrogated for information about the Colonial Fleet. We have obtained better behavior modification results when we fail to mention to them that any secrets they think they know are hopelessly out of date.

We have encountered this problem before, obviously. Certain No.4 models, for instance, have, on occasion, failed to respond to God's commands...

*Several Sharon Valerii models squirm in their seats uncomfortably and avert there eyes from the podium (and the stage, and their fellow Cylons).*

No.3 - SIMON SIMS (cont.): But as No.1 mentioned, Sharon Valerii's memory upgrade onboard Basestar 440 was a complete success. We found it necessary to remove Valerii's helmet for the transfer process itself, but that impediment was bypassed easily enough. And I'm happy to report that most of the problems we've been having with the No.4 Model series have been completely surpassed by recent developments with the Model No.2 series.

*Many D'anna Biers models in the crowd nod their heads and smile appreciatively.*

No.3 - SIMON SIMS (cont.): But these No.7 Models are incorrigible! Memory template upgrades have proven ineffective time and time again. We know now that there's nothing wrong with our memory implantation techniques, it's just that Lee's mind refuses to accept the possibility that he's a Cylon now matter how strongly it's suggested. Please bear in mind that this particular Model No.7 aboard Galactica is, in fact, the "original" Lee Adama. This IS the firstborn son of William Adama. His childhood memories are not implants. His core identity is not a fiction. But he clearly no longer responds to God's commands.

Most of the other No.7 Models performed quite admirably on Atonement Day. Many were able to sabotage various Battlestars from the inside out. Others typically failed to order their Viper squads to launch at the appropriate times. Thus far, Lee Adama is the only No.7 Model who's psyche has completely slipped though our fingers. As Mr. Doral can attest, Lee was obviously not aboard Galactica at the time of The Attack, so he was unable to carry out his mission. And now the "fake nuke" incident aboard the newly christened "Colonial One" seems to have scrambled his brain permanently.

We have requisitioned Soul Transfers for the sadly deranged No.7 models currently in custody here on Caprica, but God has thus far denied our request. God apparently frowns on giving the same Soul to more than one Model at a time. To elaborate on this, I've asked No.5 to say a few words...

*LEOBEN CONOY (Model No.5) takes the stage dressed in priestly robes.*

No.5 - LEOBEN CONOY: Good evening , ladies and gentleman. I am here as God's representative this evening, and I must admit that God seems to be just as mystified as we are as to what, precisely went wrong with our "Mr. Adama" on board Galactica.

*Nervous laughter from the crowd.*

No.5 - LEOBEN CONOY (cont.): After much prayer and supplication, however, I have been able to glean that God is quite displeased with the whole Fake Nuke Incident aboard Colonial One which occurred on Atonement Day. For a brief moment in time, our Mr. Adama was quite literally "brain dead" until his biologics kicked in and somehow jump-started his synaptic system.

*As Leoben speaks, the large view screen (center stage) comes to life as Leoben's words are illustrated on-screen...very crudely. Lee Adama, the Galactica, and other word-association ideas are drawn as squiggly stick figures and scribbles. There is no remote control pad in sight, Leoben appears to be manipulating the screen with his mind.*

No.5 - LEOBEN CONOY (cont.): Make no mistake, ladies and gentleman, Lee Adama should be dead. The Soul Transfer Process kicked in automatically when Lee was knocked unconscious by the blast wave from the electromagnetic pulse. It shouldn't have worked at all. But it did. I'd like to tell you that this was a miracle from God, but God swears he had nothing to do with it.

*Nervous laughter again.*

No.5 - LEOBEN CONOY (cont.): Now, God's laws on Soul Transference are quite clear. Mind, Body, and Soul are inseparable components. When the Soul leaves the body, it has to travel somewhere! If God doesn't claim it, it can be returned to a new Body, but only to an IDENTICAL Body! This is Humanity's greatest misunderstanding about the nature of the Soul. You all remember the disastrous results when we tried to transfer male Souls into female Bodies, don't you? I know we all agreed never mention that incident again, but I only bring it up now because I think God is still angry with us for trying to mix and mingle the personality templates He has created for us. There are only Twelve Types of people, people! speak truth when you say that there's no reason why each Model of the same Type has to play the same Role in God's Plan. Each time we are Reborn, we have an opportunity to play a different Role. But we are only allowed to play one Role at a time!

Somehow the electromagnetic pulse aboard Colonial One scattered Lee Adama's Soul Transfer Signal to multiple targets. Ladies and gentleman, I'm here to tell you tonight that this is NOT a part of God's Plan! It was never His intention for two different Models, even of the same Type, to share the same Soul! The scriptures say that we are each "individual Souls playing individual Roles!" I mean...look at yourselves! Did any one of you freely chose to sit next to one of you own Types this evening? Of course not! We each value our individuality, we each guard our own Souls jealously. Our God is a jealous God. He will not allow us to tear asunder that which He has joined together...namely our Minds, our Bodies, and our Souls. This is why God has refused our request for ANY further Soul Transfers in the Model No.7 series until we can resolve this "Adama Problem."

Simon and I have been working on a permanent fix for the Adama Problem almost non-stop for the past six months. But as you have seen, progress is slow going...for all the obvious reasons...

*Stick figures labeled "Simon" are dragging away a deranged stick figure of "Adama" up on the screen. There's some polite laughter from the crowd.*

No.5 - LEOBEN CONOY (cont.): And here I thought No.7 was supposed to be playing the role of the Flawed Hero, not the Village Idiot!

*More polite laughter.*

No.5 - LEOBEN CONOY (cont.): That's my job!

*Genuine guffaws.*

No.5 - LEOBEN CONOY (cont.): But seriously, folks...after much prayer and meditation, I think No.2 has come up with a compelling solution to the unsolvable equation that is...the Adama Problem! I leave you now in her capable hands...

*A No.2 (D'anna Biers) model takes the stage, she is dressed in a glittering white nightgown.*

No.2 - D'ANNA BIERS: Brothers and Sisters, Friends, I bring you glad tidings from the One True God. Be not afraid. We thought that robbing Lee Adama of his Father Figure might snap him out of his complacency, cause him to re-evaluate his Role in Life. Alas, this was not the case. But God has answered my prayer, another possible solution to our Adama Problem was given to me in a vision!

*Spontaneous applause from the crowd.*

No.2 - D'ANNA BIERS (cont): What happened is that God reminded me of our true limitations in this matter. Allow me to explain:

For reasons unknown, on the Day of Atonement, a certain Gaius Baltar decided to start interfering with God's plan. I still haven't figured out what went wrong with Mr. Baltar. The fact that he survived The Attack at all is certainly worthy of further scrutiny. How this strange little man went on to become the elected Vice President of the Colonial Fleet is certainly beyond my comprehension.

*Various Shelly Godfrey models in the audience shrug innocently, they genuinely seem to have no clue that there's a fellow No.6 Model currently roaming around in Baltar's head.*

No.2 - D'ANNA BIERS (cont): In any case, shortly after Dr. Baltar started behaving so unpredictably, our transponder aboard Galactica was removed. God has shown me that indeed our dear Mr. Doral was not at fault in this matter, that he completed his mission to place the transponder aboard Galactica's bridge in good faith. But who could have predicted that Dr. Baltar would implicate Mr. Doral as a Cylon agent based on some wild conspiracy theory? Or that the intelligence staff of the Colonial Fleet could be so gullible?

*Some laughter from the front row.*

No.2 - D'ANNA BIERS (cont): My point is that without a working transponder in place, there's simply no possible way to do a proper remote memory upgrade on Lee Adama. A Soul Transfer is also out of the question. We couldn't do it even if God wanted to. The Answer is that God DOESN'T want to. We would be better off directing our creative energies toward replacing Lee Adama with another Model No.7 of our own choosing. I recommend that we utilize one of the brain damaged No.7 Models currently being held in captivity.

*This suggestion causes a murmur of disbelief and dismay from the audience.*

No.2 - D'ANNA BIERS (cont): Brothers and Sisters, don't you see? We don't even need to convince Lee that he's a Cylon anymore! That's the beauty of God's Plan! All we need do is upgrade one of our No.7's memories so that they're in sync with Lee Adama's memories from his time aboard the Galactica. Lee is the Commander of Galactica's Air Group. He spends hours of flight time aboard Viper ships. We will have plenty of opportunities to isolate him from the rest of the fleet, run the memory upgrades and switch out our Model No.7 with the original Lee. The only real difference that need be introduced into the Mind of our "New and Improved" Lee is that he find Kara Thrace to be irresistibly attractive, both as a woman and as a Life Mate. Mr Sims tells me we might not even need to use memory implants, that hypnotic suggestion alone might do the trick!

Brothers and Sisters, I bring you tidings of great joy! All is not lost! Don't give up hope! Perhaps our New Lee will be The One to impregnate Kara! Starbuck can STILL fulfill her Destiny! Kara can still play the Role of The Mother in God's Plan, with - or without - our help! God's Will be praised!

*This suggestion elicits light applause, even a cheer or two.*

No.2 - D'ANNA BIERS (cont): Brothers and Sisters, we are all God's Children here, and I say unto you, no one - no, not one - can thwart the will of God! *Points finger skyward* By Your Command!

*The crowd shouts out "By Your Command!" in unison, followed by a compelling mixture of cheers, laughter and applause. D'anna blushes, curtseys and relinquishes the podium to Doral.*

No.1 - AARON DORAL: That completes our presentation for the evening. And now, I'll take your at a time please...

*As the house lights are gradually lit, many of the D'anna models leap to their feet with hands raised. As the audience is bathed in increasingly higher levels of light, it becomes clear that this "lecture hall" once served as the Opera House for the Quorum of Twelve on Caprica. One can almost hear the strain of violins in the air. Oh, and I forgot to mention that every single member of the all-Cylon audience is COMPLETELY NAKED! - FOR NO DISCERNABLE REASON!*



*LEE ADAMA (as Apollo) is startled awake with his vision of multiple (nude) D'anna Biers look-a-likes vying for his attention. Lee nearly shouts himself awake, which stirs ANASTASIA DUALLA from her slumber as well. Lee is wearing silk pajamas and is cradling a very comfy, very naked, Dualla in his arms. Mysterious Cylon chimes can be heard playing in the background.*

ANASTASIA DUALLA: What's the matter, babe?

LEE ADAMA: Huh? Uhhhh. Nothing. Nothing really...just a very...just a very strange dream...

*Dee caresses Lee's cheek softly.*

ANASTASIA DUALLA: Go back to sleep, silly boy.

*Lee kisses Dee on the forehead and tosses his head back onto his pillow, eyes closed, silly grin on his face.*

LEE ADAMA: By Your Command...

*Lee dozes off and begins to snore lightly, Dee snuggles up beside him and kisses him on the chest before drifting off to sleep herself. The Cylon chimes pick up their pace and violin music swells as the signal fades.....*