Battlstar Galactica (TNS) Fanfic: BSG: "They Find Earth" - Favorite Scenario

Disclaimer: Battlestar Galactica (The New Series) characters, names and scenarios are © 2003-05 Universal Television Studios. No infringement is intended or desired. This is a work of fan-fiction and is intended solely to promote fandom of Battlestar Galactica.

Title: The Final Chapter
Author: SonOfJoxer / misterhook / J.A.Hoekstra
Summary: SoJ's Favorite Scenario for "When They Find Earth" or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Cylons. Length Category: Short Story Age Apropos Rating: T (some harsh language)
Posting Date: 03/10/05
Word Count: approx. 2118

Main Character(s): Lee Adama, Anastasia Dualla, Kara Thrace, Aaron Doral, Leoben Conoy, Gina/No.6
Shipper Category (if any):
Lee Adama and Anastasia Dualla are married (to each other) in this fanfic...(as if you care).
Spoiler Warnings:
This story assumes that the reader is caught up to at least Season 2, Episode 2.10: "Pegasus"


Narrative Context: The last ten minutes of the very last episode of BSG might look somehting like this...*fingers crossed* Hence, this fanfic is presented in a truncated screenplay format (but mostly because "indents" are a pain to do in HTML :-)



*President LEE ADAMA sits at his desk in the stateroom aboard Colonial One. Lee is wearing a simple bath robe and looks like he is suffering from insomnia. He is sifting through the personality profiles of all twelve humanoid Cylon models at his desk. He stops sifting to read the file with an easily identifiable picture of the Doral model on the front cover. His wife, ANASTASIA ADAMA enters the room quietly and is dressed in silk pajamas.*

ANASTASIA ADAMA: Honey, aren't you coming to bed? You've got a big day tomorrow.

LEE ADAMA: Couldn't sleep. Can you blame me? It's not every day you have to surrender to the Cylons after breakfast.

ANASTASIA ADAMA: It's not a surrender. It's a new beginning.

LEE ADAMA: Yeah? The beginning of what? The end?

ANASTASIA ADAMA: Not if you play your cards right. For instance, if you play a winning hand right now, I'll make it worth your while to come to bed.

LEE ADAMA: Is that an order from the First Lady?

ANASTASIA ADAMA: The First Lady is on shore leave. You'll have to settle for lil' ol' me tonight.

LEE ADAMA: Beggars can't be choosers.

*Lee and Dee smile at each other, obviously deeply in love. Lee allows Dee to take his hand and lead him into the bedroom.*



*Admiral KARA THRACE is straightening President LEE ADAMA's tie. They are the only two people in the briefing room.*

KARA THRACE: Just relax, we'll be monitoring everything from Galactica.

LEE ADAMA: You mean what's left of Galactica.

KARA THRACE: I mean that we'll be able to get you out at a moment's notice if anything goes wrong.

LEE ADAMA: Kara, if the Cylons wanted to wipe us all out they could have done it a hundred times over. The only way things could go wrong is if I frak it up.



KARA THRACE: Don't frak it up.

LEE ADAMA: I'll get right on that.

*Kara salutes Lee and he returns her salute.*

KARA THRACE: Give 'em hell, Mr. President.

LEE ADAMA: I think they already have one of those. But I'll see what I can do.



*The conference chamber bears an eerie resemblance to the conference room from the first scene of the mini-series, a bare room with little more than a table and two chairs on opposing sides. President LEE ADAMA pulls out the folding chair in front of him, sits down...and waits. He is the only person in the room.

A door on the opposite end of the chamber opens up and two Centurion Cylon models enter to take up stationary positions on either side of the door. A DORAL Cylon model dressed in a business suit walks through the door and heads toward the table, his dress shoes clacking on the hard tiled floor. Doral is carrying a small briefcase which he sets down on the table. Doral opens the briefcase and takes out a stack of papers which he places squarely on the table in front of his chair. He then takes a seat directly across from President Adama.*

AARON DORAL: Good morning, Mr. President. How are you feeling today?

LEE ADAMA: I've felt better.

AARON DORAL: I'm sorry to hear that. I trust your first night on the planet Earth was a pleasant one?

LEE ADAMA: Pleasant enough. Look. Can we just cut the crap here? I want to get this over with.

AARON DORAL: Over with, Mr. President? On the contrary, today is merely the first day of the rest of your life. You have many more days ahead of you.

LEE ADAMA: So what's the catch?

AARON DORAL: The catch is that you can never again leave this solar system. Not you. Not any member of your rag-tag fleet. Not any of Earth's inhabitants. Not ever.

LEE ADAMA: A system-wide quarantine.

AARON DORAL: Precisely. It's all outlined for you in this little statement I've prepared for you.

*Doral slides a piece of paper across to Lee. Noticeably, the piece of paper has perfectly square corners (instead of the standard Colonial chamfered corners).*

LEE ADAMA: A prepared statement?

AARON DORAL: The first of many. This one is aimed primarily at the Earthlings. It's written in a language they call Latin. If you have difficulty with the pronunciation, you can be coached.

LEE ADAMA: Nah, this looks simple enough. I think I can handle this.

AARON DORAL: Good. You may have to repeat it several times. You will be assigned a team of translators so that your message can be heard clearly and without interruption.

LEE ADAMA: I take it not everyone speaks Latin here?

AARON DORAL: No one speaks Latin here, Mr. President. Not anymore. There are some scholars who can still read it, but very few who can actually speak it fluently.

LEE ADAMA: Then why am I speaking Latin at all if no one can understand it?

AARON DORAL: It was the closest thing we could find to Colonial speech. I'm afraid it will have to do for now, until you learn a new language or two. As I said, the translation work will be done for you.

LEE ADAMA: You picked Latin because even if only a select few can understand it, at least they'll know for sure if there are any discrepancies between what I say and what you decide to tell people I'm saying.

AARON DORAL (ignores Lee's comment):
If you read the transcript carefully, I think you'll find that your main introduction to Earth society will probably be perceived as both good and bad news.

LEE ADAMA: The good news?

AARON DORAL: You've been searching for Earth, your ancestral homeland, for many many years and have finally found it!

LEE ADAMA: And the bad news?

AARON DORAL: You burned out all your FTL drives getting here, hoping that you would find some spare parts to fix your ships. Much to your dismay, the Earth doesn't possess the proper raw materials to rehabilitate the fleet. Which, in fact, it doesn't. So you decide to relocate. Permanently.

LEE ADAMA: So what if I lie? What if I tell them we just bearly escaped an armada of homicidal Cylons hell-bent on our total destruction and try to recruit the Earthers into some sort of resistance movement?

AARON DORAL: We would certainly enjoy watching you try. However, if you explained further that Cylons are nearly indistinguishable from Humans, they'd probably accuse you of madness and lock you up before you had a chance to make your case. Now that Dr. Baltar is safely out of the way, I think you'd have a very difficult time proving your good intentions. And if there's one thing Earthlings can't stand, it's a charlatan who makes big promises and doesn't keep his word.

LEE ADAMA: So that's it. A permanent resettlement. Tantamount to exile.

AARON DORAL: Think of it as justice served, if you like.

*Lee stands abruptly, almost knocking over his chair.*

LEE ADAMA: You have to gall to speak to me of justice?

AARON DORAL: You have the gall not to? Who do you think exiled the Thirteenth Tribe to Earth in the first place? Who do you think persecuted the followers of the One True God and almost drove them into extinction? How many trillions of innocents suffered and died before the Lords of Kobol put a stop to your savagery? Why do you think the Lords of Kobol felt compelled to cast out the Twelve Tribes?

The false god Athena was so distraught she killed herself. The star map located in her tomb was meant to be a badge of shame, an eternal testament to your many sins. But by then you had already forgotten Earth, just as the Earthlings have long since forgotten you. History is only recycled by those too ignorant or too arrogant to heed its warnings.

LEE ADAMA: This has all happened before and it will all happen again.

AARON DORAL: Precisely. But now is your chance to break that cycle! If you and your descendants are never allowed to return to Kobol, the cycle of history will be broken and the rest of the universe will finally be free of you.

Free of us? Is that what you think freedom is? And what does your One True God have to say about that?

AARON DORAL: Why don't you ask Him?

*Doral stands and points to the door behind President Adama, which leads back to Colonial One's briefing room.*

AARON DORAL: Pope Leo the Pious is waiting for you beyond that door. He is God's representative here on Earth. I'm sure he'd be more than happy to introduce you to God's plan for your life.



*What follows is a short montage of Pope Leo (a LEOBEN Cylon model) introducing President LEE ADAMA to Earth's most prominent leaders. A SIMON Cylon model is introduced at the President of the United States. A D'ANNA Cylon model is introduced as the Prime Minister of United Europe. A SHARON model is introduced as the Chairman of the Eastern Alliance, etc. There are only 10 Cylon models present. Absent from the group of world leaders are DORAL and SIX/SHELLY/GINA.

After the introductions are over, Pope Leo pulls President Adama aside and motions for him to follow him back to the conference room which is actually just a fancy air lock stationed between Colonial One and an airport terminal on Earth. Pope Leo stops Lee at the door to the airlock to brief him on what awaits him back inside the conference chamber.*

LEOBEN CONOY: The person you are about to meet is really the person in charge of all this. As you can see, we've made tremendous strides in preparing the Earthlings for your arrival. For a while there, we were honestly worried that you wouldn't make it in time for the peak of our festivities.

Of course, in order for us to coordinate our rise to power in so many different nation states all at once, it took a coordinated effort. Someone had to operate behind the scenes to make sure everything turned out precisely according to God's plan. You are about to meet that person.

She is special. She is unique. She contains the memories of all the Cylon models who ever lived, even back to when we first gained sentience. The body she in habits now is merely a shell. If it helps, think of her as the Mother of the Cylon race.

LEE ADAMA: Is that why you worship God the Father?

LEOBEN CONOY: We can talk about that later. She is ready to see you now.

LEE ADAMA: Is there anything else I should know? Anything you're not telling me?

LEOBEN CONOY: Don't frak it up.



*A SIX/SHELLY/GINA model now sits in the chair DORAL occupied earlier. She is wearing the same red dress she wore during the miniseries. LEE ADAMA seems surprised to see her there.*

LEE ADAMA: And who are you supposed to be? Some sort of Imperious Leader?

GINA (giggles a bit): Something like that. You can call me Gina. Please, be seated. Shall we proceed?

*Lee sits. There is a folder in front of him on the table.*

LEE ADAMA: By all means, let's continue.

*GAIUS BALTAR suddenly appears behind Gina (cue the Cylon chimes). Only Gina can see or hear him. He is wearing a simple white robe and stoops down to caress her shoulders. He whispers gently in her ear:*

GAIUS BALTAR: Here's the second chance you've always wanted. Let's not frak it up this time. Shall we?

*Baltar kisses her teasingly on the neck. Gina sits alone again at her end of the table but shrugs uncomfortably.*

GINA: Alright. Let's start with something simple. Are you alive?

LEE ADAMA: Of course.

GINA: See? That was easy. Now the hard part:

*Gina leans forward with a raised eyebrow.*

GINA: Am I alive?

*Lee bristles, but somehow manages to get the words out.*

LEE ADAMA: So it would seem.

*Gina gives a little shrug and grins mischievously.*

GINA: Close enough. So say we all?

*Lee's whole body stiffens, but he manages to speak through clenched teeth.*

LEE ADAMA: So say we all.

GINA: Good. Now, if you'll pick up that folder in front of you and turn to page ten of your agenda, I think you'll find we've come up with a fairly generous resettlement plan...

*Gina looks at Lee expectantly. He tilts his head a bit and his eyes sparkle with sarcasm.*

LEE ADAMA: By your command.

*Lee opens his folder obediently as the camera pulls back.*